The Compleat Nail Addict The nail, its epistemographical origins In the beginning of this tale, a tale of crazed nail addicts and maddened nail-intoxicated prophets, nail was just cloves. Plain, old good reliable, cloves - the spice of spices, a spice to trust in. Then came a great man, let's for simplicity's sake call him Todd. Todd was a wanker - a good one for sure, perhaps the best of them all. Nevertheless, he was a wanker, shunned by all of mankind for his views on the matter. He thought that it was really OK to do his little trick in public, several times a day. And did he enjoy it! No, he did most certainly not. He only used the wanking as a vessel to propel him to the ecstatic high domains - and become as gods. Then he learnt of nail, he sailed over the seas and ventured high into the dragons daim and what did he find? Just outside the lair was a small street stand where a Chinaman sold fresh nail to the peasants. He bought some of the precious substance in exchange for some wheat he happened to be carrying. He tried it in small amounts at first, he wasn't the one to take heroic doses at first, as others have done. But then it hit him hard anyway and he finally got really high - and became a god - not of wankers - but for us; The Brethren of the Naily Pipe... The substance, different qualities, preparations Nail comes not in one form, but in many. If I was to tell you all the different sorts it would become too tedious and I'd bore you all stiff. After all, all you want to do is to get to that shop and by the stuff and smoke it on the spot, right? Got you there... The fresh nail as we see it in the shops comes basically in two qualities, ground and not ground. Then there's different brands around - I won't give you any names here. We will certainly not sell out to any capitalism. Nail is Todd's gift and it should be free to any WoMan! But one thing I can tell you and one thing only. Asian nail's probably the best bet. It is stronger, more potent and far better than the others. It's well known that the farmers in third world countries don't get much for their effort on the field, but hey! Do we care? I just want to hit that fresh pipe of sparkling nail man! Ground nail: Not very good actually. The power is in the sauce as Tod used to say, and there's much truth in that for sure! But it is not completely worthless - it's still nail. And thats not a small thing... Plain nail: The best. The first thing you've got to do when entering the world of nail is to buy your mortar - the nail addict's best friend, save for the nail itself. The choice of a mortar is not a petty one - one must put great effort and a sizeable amount of money on this most important of all equipment. The nail must be ground to a fine powder - or something like it. The thing is - the sauce has to get out (Todd there again!). The sauce is the active ingredient in nail - it won't work without. Yes, it's that stuff they put in your mouth when they're messing with your teeth back at the dentists. Some people have NEVER recovered from that! Talk about a bad setting - somebody is pulling your teeth out and then the nail kicks in... Sad, sad, sad, some people never ever learn... Small wonder so many people are afraid to go the dentist's! It's probably best to mix nail with some tobacco - works wonders for that throat of yours. Some people let the nail and tobacco age together for years in a sealed container, they say it's the best. Then when it's properly mixed - roll a joint or hit the pipe. NOTE: if you only have smoked marijuana, this is for real, this is nail. It's not a game anymore... Smoking like a madman, captain Clark tells us his view on the matter... Approach nail with caution, the effects may be small at first, but if you overdo it, you can find yourself somewhere entirely else ... in the Nail Realm. Once you've been there, you can become one of its permanent residents ... we have friends who have been unable to start their day without smoking a pipeful of nail. That said, when you realize what it's all about, nothing should keep you from smoking like a beast. You can roll it up in joints if you want to, but I'm partial to the pipe - there's nothing like the crackling sound of a fragrant pipe of industrial strength nail. Beware; the smell of nail is very strong. If you don't want people around you to notice anything - don't smoke. It contains strong aromatic oils. (Ol' Sasha Shulgin has examined them, by the way, on his way to discovering the methamphetamines.) So do it out of the way, or surround yourself with people that don't care. It's not illegal, so what's the problem? Once you start smoking, remember to inhale deeply. This gives a much better effect. For beginners and intermediates, the inhalations can be difficult and severe. But just persist, the reward is around the corner. Medical sources tell us that smoking nail may be vey harmful to your lungs. Make your own decision about it & compare the pleasure you get from nail smoking to the harm done to your body. Nail visions always ring true You're one of those fanatic reality deniers, aren't you. You say there's no such thing as an ultimate reality. Everybody has his or her own reality going around. That's just so stupid! Forgive me for saying: Child thou hast failed! Thy belief combined with thy stubbornedness hast made thou err in thy mission. Well we can do something about that, smoke nail and see the truth! Nail is the truth. Nothing is more true than nail, and when you have gone way up in the far dominions of the sinister Nail Realm you will know... And even repent from your childish past and become a full time nailer... What I tell you is true.. What I tell you is true, what I tell you is true, go check for yourself, go check for yourself. There's a whole new world there, check it, go into it and explore it, live in it and see. This is the end of mankind, and the birth of a new race, the nail will see to it - it surely will. In the domain of the nail dwell the nailkins; they will be our teachers and give us what we need... What is it that we need, go check it out for yourself... In the domain... In the domain of nail no theory can be applied. And that's final. None, whatsoever. It's just down too tools and techniques up there. High in da sky! What tools then? What techniques? How will I be able to master the nail? The thing is you won't... The techniques will help you to not become totally force-wanked by the nail, but as Todd said: I sure got good techniques and tools but I'm not in charge. Being not in charge is the big thing with nail. I'm certainly not in charge over the nail, no one will be - ever! But using good techniques will help you in your futile quest. Because it's said: one must aspire to complete dominion over the nail realm to become one of the Brethren of the Naily Pipe. But the aspiration is just there to make the Nail Realm more bizarre and strange.... Longing for the pipe... The longing for a pipe when short of the "flesh of Todd" is one of the big things in this naily business. One has to long for the nail in order to enjoy it when the transferation to the naily realm comes. Many are the nights when the wail of the Brethren short of flesh can be heard as a silent hiss in the night... Usually, every town has one store that really beats all the other in quality and price. Often in the morning, before the shop opens, naily men and women gather outside. They look shyly into each others bloodburst eyes and sometimes they utter short sentences full of anticipation in hushed voices... One of them paces the pavement and occasionally kicks a stone to the other side of the road. Another who can take this torture no more picks up a bunch of roaches and begins to fill a pipe with what little that is left. Then the shop opens, people scream their happiness in the morning air, and people rush in and soon they couldn't be happier, walking home with a full 50g bag, perhaps rolling a small one on the way home, really enjoying life to the max... Triangular people You've probably seen them, you know, those people. Standing in the corner of the town square, all shitty - years of dirt, never washed away, except for the rain. They are the Triangular Brethren of the Naily Pipe. They live for naught but nail; nail is their sole purpose for living. They dwell at daytime in abandoned houses & factories. They have their own laws based solely on nail. The only currency they accept is nail. They are nail all over. They have gone too far in the way of nail, or perhaps they have found a great truth beyond us. They have forgotten all about becoming as gods, instead they have become as nail Whether this is good or bad is not for me to decide, the question shouldn't even be posed if I were to be asked. They have given up totally on ordinary society, nothing of it interests them, instead they gather people of similar belief in gigantic nailfests in the woods. There they light up sky-high waterpipes and sing nail's praise (they don't even know about Todd, and if they knew they probably wouldn't care). They eat nail, smoke nail, smell nail, see nail, look like nail, are nail, bring nail, and according to certain witnesses ( nothing can be known for certain about these people) even shit nail... The nail revisited Certain cultures at certain times use a hell of a lot of nail, at other periods the amount of nail consumed is about zilch. What causes these wild fluctuations? Why is not the amount of nail consumed constant, or at least predictable, over time? That's beacuse the Nail Realm's influence in this sphere of life fluctuates. Why does it fluctuate? Beacuse of the strange laws ruling of the nail dimension, these laws are subject to evolvement and so, they change over time. They are fractal as well and this makes the changes over time rather profound and special. This amounts to the strange fluctuations. So now you know it all. New cults It's well known that new nail cults pop up all the time, almost every day one gets new pamphlets home - one of the few pains of subscribing to Nail Times. New cults almost always demands high entrance fees - the founders wanting to get rich fast. Nothing wrong with that but it gives rise to negative feelings among non-nail people. They think nail is all about money, well in a way it is and then it isn't at the same time, how can that be explained to "normal" people? It can't be explained at all; tell them to hit the pipe or shut the fuck up! Longing for a better life. A lot of people have started up on nail, expecting it to change their life, and in a way it has. It has given them new meaning in life, nail and only nail. But there are also some visionaries who are not satisfied. They develop elaborate thought systems around the nail symbol. Some try to go beyond nail, to seize the earth-rocking power of Toddflesh, and be able to tap into it even when straight. Needless to say, this would be one of the greatest transformations of human experience that have ever happened, and the authors of this book are completely at a loss as to how this would work. We stick to the nail instead. But meanwhile, there is work to be done on several levels, to prepare for coming hells & paradises .. We hereby proclaim the need for a mapping of the nail realm. Take this as a manifesto, if you will. We need brave Nail-o-nauts to delve into the very borderlands of thought. The maps will of course not be recognizable as such by non-Nailers. They have to be as congruent as possible with the nail experience, that is to say, twisted, ugly, beautiful and moving in all directions. We need to know more about how the nail realm works. Various Maps and Charts over the Realm known as Nail There was a Buddhist long ago, who proclaimed truth to be more important than everything else. Some people today say that the statement is not properly translated. When the Nail Cults and Realms of olden times passed into history and then were completely forgotten by everybody, the vocabulary and the meaning of certain words also got lost. One of the words forgotten was the word for Nail. That is: the true meaning and use of the word got lost. The people living under this era of forgetfulness and despair vaguely remembered the word for nail. They knew that the word was true. Nail is true, and means truth in certain contexts. So the original word for nail (which is now lost) came to mean truth, that was after the era of Nail and complete happiness ended. So in our western culture, we have a rich basis of thought to draw from when we think about Nail. Everybody in our culture will automatically think of something true whenever they hear the word Nail. Consider the myth of Crist. Perhaps the most important myth 'cept for Nail. Almost everyone in the western world think there's at least some truth in the myth, though that exactly what it is that is true is hard to pinpoint. Well, in truth; it is not hard! The only truth in that myth is the nails driven into Christ's hands and feet. It's just a simple example of the fall that occured when people started to mix up the concepts: nail & truth. Some people wish to go further and analyse the myth further. Well, I don't know if that is a good idea. But their main point is that it is a myth about someone getting sacrificed (or totally hooked) on nail. And there it goes, making more and more rubbish. Nail is just about hitting the pipe and nothing less... The New World The news we receive from TV, newspapers, radio etc. comes from established power networks. They have a very strong non-nail bias or, perhaps more accurately, they have a "don't mention"-policy. Why, many nailers ask themselves, are there no news that touches them? Why doesn't CNN report about Nail news when this is such a big thing in the world? The TV networks just have to face the harsh reality, the world is practically run by Nail. For all practical purposes - the nail is the most important factor in world politics. That's today's situation, yesterday's and with certainty tomorrow's. Is this just a gigantic cover-up? Are they trying to hide what's really happening? Well, people all over the world are starting up small protest organisations to force truth into the news. And the truth is Nail.. The darkside of Nail Some of the followers of Todd don't follow the path of righteous happiness and truth; they follow the Dark Path of nail. Under their care, Nail becomes something demonic, an ancient Egyptian god. They focus on the dark aspects of nail, bring those forth and let it feed their hunger for unhappiness. They choose to wear black or dark clothes. They come to live under constant depression, feeling only the pain in the world and not the good and positive side. Maybe these people are the real nailers, hitting the pipe harder than anybody else. Though there are some really black nailers from Jamaica - who don't take shit from anybody. They would probably laugh to death if they heard about the Dark brotherhood of Nail, and if they met them, hell, they'd give the pale and skinny kids a real beating. Sponsored by: Manuscript found inscribed in Cuneiform at a lavatory in Nanning, China translated by Joel Westerberg and Mikael Huss