SARGENTS FASHION: Sargent Alphas Fashion Watch [editors note: these telegrams were previously presented with a now defunct java applet ticker, updated for current browsers with pure HTML presentation]   13.25 ELECTRONIC VERSIONS OF CLUBWEAR FINALLY OUT OF STYLE IN LONDON 14.24 FETISH: USED AIDS TESTS VERY POPULAR IN CENTRAL SQUARE OF BOSTON 15.15 FROG SKIN POUPLAR IN FRANCE - GAULTIER RELEASES - FROGSKIN IN A JAR 17.00 GREENPEACE AGAINST *FROGSKIN IN A JAR* WHICH CONTAINS PCP, NON REVERSABLE SKIN ALTERATION 17.23 RETRO: ELECTRONIC VERSIONS OF CLUBWEAR NOW IN STYLE AGAIN! 19.44 USED RAD-PROTECTION SUITES FROM CHERNOBYL EXTREMELY HIP IN GERMAN RAVES 20.00 RINGS MADE FROM GOAT RECTAL MUSCLES OUT OF STYLE IN AZERBADJAN. 23.43 FAMOUS RAP SINGER FLAVOUR FLAV OF PUBLIC ENEMY UNDERGOES PLASTICAL SURGERY - THE WORLDS FIRST LED CLOCK IMPLANT 00.34 MICHAEL JACKSON UNDERGOES PLASTIC SURGERY AGAIN - REPLACES SKIN WITH SEE-THROUGH PLASTIC   02.34 POPE BANS ELETRONIC AND DIGITAL CLOTHING, CALLS IT QUOTE: THE EMPERORS NEW CLOTHES END OF QUOTE   05.23 ELECTRONIC CLOTHING NOW CONSIDERED HIP AGAIN IN ROME - WILL THE KNIGHTS OF MALTA STRIKE BACK TO UPHOLD DECENCY?   07.10 LONDON GOES META, STATUS OF ELECTRONIC CLOTHING NOW IMPOSSIBLE TO DETERMINE   08.21 RELEASE OF THE HIPCRIME VOCAB, LEGISLATION NOW LAGS BEHIND, CAN HIPCRIMES BE PROSECUTED?   09.45 THE PRES. MAKES HIS MOVE: HIPCRIMES NOW RULED ILLEGAL, CRIMINAL SEMANTICISTS LAG BEHIND   10.15 ALL JACKSON LOOK-A-LIKES HAVE REPLACED THEIR SKIN WITH SEE-THROUGH PLASTIC   10.42 NEXT HYPE IN N.Y. MASCARA WITH TRACES OF AGENT ORANGE   These telegrams were brought to you by EUROSAT 3